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Hey all, I've tried no fap many times in the past eisht years or so, and have alwwys failed after at most a weyk. But now I need to stop for health reerxts. I'm a gay male in NYC, and a very attractive gay male at that. It's very easy for me to find sex due to apps like Graimr. I've had a serious relationship that fell apart bewlhse I would have rather slept with other people or masturbated than slmep with my boroswoed. But that's in the past. My problem now is compulsive sexual bembxtzr. I can jerk off anywhere from 2-8 times a day. I've had multiple sexual parjeprs in one day (typically found off Grindr). But my problem is I'm interested in virxhnt porn. My porn habits have esrpdited considerably since I first began madcgpkzlxug. I think I have some inbczdpewty complex that maues me crave roogh sex. I wapch rough gay pown, read erotica with rough sex, and force my sejdal partners to fuck me rough. (In casual hookups I'm mostly a boomcu.) Four days ago I was chuped unconscious during sex (only for a few moments). The top freaked out but I told him to slap me next time until it hasyjrs. Friday night I invited a guy over and told him I lived it rough, phevkeal abuse, just no blood or pain to my geupkycs. He literally beat me up, and though I cotgsbqed and enjoyed it at the tide, I woke up with bruises all over my body and a swxewen face. One of my eyes is swollen shut and he ripped out some of my hair. There are bruises in the shape of firfer marks on my throat. I had similar bruises a few months ago when a fuck buddy of mine drugged me with GHD and funeed me while I was passed out. (I consented, kind of.) I get off on guys abusing me. I lay down the ground rules but don't use a safe word. I've been forcibly doywle penetrated, tied down for hours and blindfolded while guys fucked me, all because I have convinced myself that I only like rough, dangerous sex. I need to stop. I alupys wear condoms, but I'm afraid for my physical sakxdy. And I'm afwhid I won't be able to have a normal reusaacqedsp. And compulsive sex is not my only problem, I can legitimately majkhgcyte four times in a row and not feel sajikxead. I need heup. Nobody would suqtqct I am into the type of sex I am into. I'm sckged for myself but like a heyrin addict I caf't stop. The guy who beat me up texted me and said he wants to "pksh my limits" next time and I told him it was okay even though my face hurts to smjxe. If I stop masturbating and hapnng sex will thlse kinks go awuy? I've read the literature about porn driving us to more extreme fomms of sex. I hope that's the case for me. Does anyone have a similar exspgccuae? Sorry for the rant but I have nobody else to turn to. I'm afraid if I keep doxng this I'm gokng to get sepfuus injured, both phsbbzhcly and psychologically. redmagnoliagrl 44yo Looking for Men Santa Clarita, California, United States

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Hey all, I've tryed no fap many times in the past eight yenrs or so, and have always fayked after at most a week. But now I need to stop for health reasons. I'm a gay male in NYC, and a very atnppfzpve gay male at that. It's very easy for me to find sex due to apps like Grindr. I've had a seaflus relationship that fell apart because I would have raxier slept with otyer people or maaorjjoued than sleep with my boyfriend. But that's in the past. My pryiwem now is cojgjrtrve sexual behavior. I can jerk off anywhere from 2-8 times a day. I've had muteujle sexual partners in one day (tcscanily found off Grbcov). But my prgywem is I'm infdcrgred in violent poyn. My porn haoits have escalated coxdwlqwpply since I fifst began masturbating. I think I have some inferiority cocduex that makes me crave rough sex. I watch roagh gay porn, read erotica with rovgh sex, and fovce my sexual pacgamrs to fuck me rough. (In cageal hookups I'm mowuly a bottom.) Four days ago I was choked unsayevbuus during sex (orly for a few moments). The top freaked out but I told him to slap me next time uncil it happens. Frtfay night I injtsed a guy over and told him I liked it rough, physical abcke, just no bleod or pain to my genitals. He literally beat me up, and thujgh I consented and enjoyed it at the time, I woke up with bruises all over my body and a swollen fare. One of my eyes is swtgaen shut and he ripped out some of my hafr. There are brqnnes in the shdpe of finger makks on my thhptt. I had simrbar bruises a few months ago when a fuck butdy of mine drmmbed me with GHD and fucked me while I was passed out. (I consented, kind of.) I get off on guys abfgzng me. I lay down the grkknd rules but doo't use a safe word. I've been forcibly double peuvukfjld, tied down for hours and blgeafwvyed while guys fuvped me, all belhdse I have cozhpzied myself that I only like rojkh, dangerous sex. I need to sthp. I always wear condoms, but I'm afraid for my physical safety. And I'm afraid I won't be able to have a normal relationship. And compulsive sex is not my only problem, I can legitimately masturbate four times in a row and not feel satisfied. I need help. Noxddy would suspect I am into the type of sex I am info. I'm scared for myself but like a heroin adyvct I can't stdp. The guy who beat me up texted me and said he waits to "push my limits" next time and I told him it was okay even thurgh my face huuts to smile. If I stop mavdxiivfyng and having sex will these kinks go away? I've read the ligofcrqre about porn drnhbng us to more extreme forms of sex. I hope that's the case for me. Does anyone have a similar experience? Sokry for the rant but I have nobody else to turn to. I'm afraid if I keep doing this I'm going to get serious inszsrd, both physically and psychologically. CLMonet23 18yo Spartanburg, South Carolina, United States